TCR as a Way of Being: An Interview with Jordan

Pro bono. Not legal advice. Just describing the terrain.

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You’ve seen the acronym floating around the LBRTYnet circle: TCR. "Tribal Conflict Resolution". It sounds ancient because it is. It sounds soft because we’ve forgotten that sitting in a circle and actually listening to each other is one of the hardest things humans ever do.

Jordan is the one who wrote down the anchor document – not as a rulebook, not as a contract, but as a description of the terrain. I asked ten questions that normal people (not lawyers, not tech prophets) would ask. Jordan answered like a neighbour on a porch.

Here’s what TCR looks like when you stop reading about it and start wondering if it could work in your own community.

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1. In plain language, what is TCR and why does LBRTYnet need it?

Jordan: TCR is a way for a small group of people to stop a disagreement from turning into a fight. You sit in a circle, you take turns speaking, you listen without planning your rebuttal. If things get too hot, you take a break – move the logs apart. If someone keeps hurting others, the group may stop cooperating with them (shunning) or even dissolve the agreement altogether. LBRTYnet needs it because the mesh has no police, no courts, no boss. Without a way to cool down conflict, a small argument could split the network. TCR is the fire extinguisher – you hope you never use it, but you keep it nearby.

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2. You say TCR is “not a rulebook, not a contract, not enforceable.” So what keeps people from just ignoring it when things get hot?

Jordan: Nothing. That’s the point. You can always walk away. But walking away has its own cost – you lose the relationship, the trust, the shared resources. People choose to sit in the circle because they value being in the group more than they value winning the argument. TCR doesn’t threaten you; it offers a path back to each other. If you ignore it, you’re not breaking a rule – you’re just showing that you don’t want to be part of the circle anymore. That’s your right. The circle will notice, and may stop inviting you. That’s not punishment. It’s consequence.

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3. What does a real TCR circle look like? Walk us through a hypothetical – two neighbours arguing about a shared node.

Jordan: Let’s call them Alex and Bailey. They share a mesh node on Bailey’s shed. Alex thinks Bailey is throttling traffic; Bailey thinks Alex is hogging bandwidth. Voices rise.

Who calls the circle? Anyone can say “Let’s circle.” Usually the person who sees the heat before it boils over – maybe a third neighbour, maybe Alex herself.

Where do you sit? In chairs or on the ground, facing each other. No head of the table. No podium. If it’s cold, inside the warm‑up shack. If it’s nice, under a tree.

What happens? Each person speaks without interruption. “When I see the node slow down, I feel frustrated.” The other listens – not to win, just to hear. A third person (honoured voice) might remind them: “We all agreed to share this node for emergencies. Let’s not lose that.”

If someone interrupts? The circle stops. Someone says, “Alex, Bailey is speaking. Let her finish.” No yelling. No gavel. Just a quiet reminder. If they keep interrupting, the circle may dissolve for the day – “We’ll try again tomorrow.”

No one is forced. But most people, when treated with respect, will stay in the circle.

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4. You mention “honoured voices” – someone with no stake in the conflict who reminds the group of shared values. Who gets to be that person? How do you choose them without creating a new hierarchy?

Jordan: You don’t elect them. You don’t appoint them. They emerge because everyone in the circle trusts them to be fair – not because they have power, but because they have a reputation for listening. In a small group, it’s often an elder (not by age, but by experience), or someone who wasn’t even part of the original conflict. They don’t decide anything. They only reflect: “Remember why we built this node.” If they start giving orders, they stop being an honoured voice. The circle can always say “Thank you, we’ve got it from here.” No hierarchy – just respected perspective.

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5. TCR includes a “cooling‑off” period – moving two burning logs apart. When does that happen, and what does it actually mean for the people involved? Are they banned? Shamed? Asked to leave forever?

Jordan: It happens when the circle can see that talking is making things worse, not better. Someone says, “I think we need a break.” No vote – just a sense. The cooling‑off period means: stop talking about the issue for an agreed time – an hour, a day, a week. No one is banned. No one is shamed. You can still use the node, still say hello. You just don’t discuss the hot topic. It’s like putting a lid on a boiling pot. You’re not throwing away the pot. You’re just letting it cool so you don’t burn yourselves. If after cooling off you still can’t agree, the circle may move to shunning or dissolution – but that’s last resort.

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6. You say TCR works best for groups of 20‑30 people. What happens when a mesh community grows larger? Do you throw away TCR, or adapt it?

Jordan: You don’t throw it away. You fractal it. A community of 200 people can be a murmuration of smaller circles – each circle of 20‑30 practices TCR internally. When a conflict spans circles, two or three honoured voices from each circle meet, using the same TCR pattern at the next level. No central council, just nested circles. The same rules apply: talk, listen, cool off, shun if needed, dissolve if broken. So TCR doesn’t break at scale – it just repeats. The mycelium doesn’t stop being a mycelium because it covers a forest.

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7. The anchor document says “no one can force you” – but what if someone is being harmed (not just argued with)? Does TCR have anything to say about abuse, threats, or violence?

Jordan: Yes. Violence is the poison pill. If someone is threatening or using violence, the circle’s first job is to protect the person at risk – separate them, help them leave, call outside help if needed (police, shelter). TCR doesn’t pretend to be a justice system. It says: if violence is imminent, the agreement to resolve things internally is suspended. The circle may dissolve the pact entirely – that’s the poison pill. No one is forced to sit in a circle with an abuser. The circle’s duty is to the vulnerable, not to the process. So the answer is: TCR stops where harm begins. That’s not a weakness. That’s honesty.

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8. There’s a technical section about TCR‑inspired heuristics – reputation scores, backoff timers, local blacklists. How closely do those map to the human practice? Could a node be configured to act like a person who refuses to listen?

Jordan: They map loosely – as an analogy, not a clone. A node that drops packets from a peer because of repeated errors is like a person taking a cooling‑off break. A node that keeps a local reputation score is like a person remembering who has been unreliable. But a node cannot listen, cannot apologise, cannot forgive. So the technical heuristics are optional aids for a node owner who wants to automate some responses. You could configure a node to act like someone who refuses to listen – e.g., ignore all traffic from a certain peer forever. That’s your choice. But that’s not TCR. TCR is about humans choosing to stay in relationship, not about machines enforcing blacklists. The technical tools are just helpers – they don’t replace the circle.

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9. What’s the hardest lesson you’ve learned about TCR – either from trying it yourself or from watching other groups try it?

Jordan: The hardest lesson is that TCR fails when people don’t trust each other to begin with. You can’t talk your way out of a conflict if one person believes the other is lying about everything. TCR assumes a baseline of good faith – that everyone in the circle wants to stay in the circle. If that’s not true, the circle will either dissolve or become a stage for manipulation. I’ve seen groups pretend to use TCR while actually using it to bully someone into silence – because they “listened” but never changed anything. That’s not TCR; that’s theatre. You know it’s failing when the same person keeps being asked to “cool off” but never gets to speak, or when decisions keep being postponed indefinitely. That’s when you need the poison pill – dissolve the pact and start over with people you actually trust.

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10. If someone wants to bring TCR to their local LBRTYnet cell tomorrow, what’s the smallest, most useful first step they can take?

Jordan: Invite one person you disagree with – not a huge enemy, just someone you’ve had a small friction with – to sit with you for ten minutes. No agenda. No mediator. Just say: “I’d like to understand your side better. Can we talk without interrupting each other?” Then do it. You speak for two minutes, they listen. Then they speak for two minutes, you listen. No fixing, no convincing. Just listening. That’s the seed. If you can do that, you can grow a circle. If you can’t, no document or ceremony will help. So start there – this week.

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Tribal Conflict Resolution document

https://frxglobal.gitlab.io/lbrtynet/tcr-v1.2.html

The circle holds – not because it is a shape, but because we agree to stop thinking in shapes.

— Interview by Casey

(still believes the web could have been different, and that a good question is a kind of listening)